For those not familiar my nom de plume I would like to explain that my mischievous grand-children mockingly subverted my official designation Poppy, to this rather demeaning nick-name. It gave them great pleasure, and it has lasted to this day. There could be no one less like the Pop-Stars they adore, than yours-truly.
Why I’m even too decrepit for such a stylish moniker, having just two days before the outbreak of the devastating war in Ukraine, turned 85. For the last few years my zest for blogging, which Mrs. Pop-star has long viewed with misgiving as an obsession, has waned. (she’s right of course) My finished posts are pretty-well devoid of literary merit, have dubious relevance to others, and are possibly at times a provocative read for those who inadvertently come across them. When I should be in bed with her, I am wide awake trying to find appropriate words for my “important” dissertations. Why should I bother?
However, now that I have been able to survive to such an age, I thought to perhaps revisit on occasions my blogging activity, taking now the perspective of one who is seriously old.
I am grateful for my safe and pleasant surrounds, and the helpful staff, in a retirement village at Redland Bay, (Adventist Retirement Village) 35 kms from the Brisbane CBD. But most of all I am grateful to Mrs. Pop-Star who this month celebrated with me our 59th wedding anniversary.
Marital marathons are not too uncommon amongst the elderly couples here, so we are denied bragging rights. However, for us it is still a “big deal”. I naively thought we might be asked to what we attributed our longevity, giving me the opportunity to wisely pontificate on the secrets of a happy marriage. Not so.
If we were asked however, my wife would of course quickly and obligingly say that marrying me was the best day’s work she has ever done, and that she was going to stick with me!
For my part I have given the answer some thought and have come to the conclusion that the secret of a successful marriage in large part lies in acquiring a measure of “selective deafness”. (My wife has often remarked of this in me) . In is helpful however for a couple to be able to turn a deaf ear to hurtful words. Arguments end marriages.
It is true that marriages necessitate “give and take” to last. Give love and take no offence. Marriage is a lottery in life, but it needs commitment and cooperation if it is going to work.
It goes without mention that a spouse should never stay in an abusive relationship. Verbal lashings are likely to be followed by physical lashings.